Category: Let's talk
Hello to all the GIRLS of the zone, did any guy in here try to hit on you? Or asked those questions that are to inappropriate? Please feel free to post here. Some guy named tonyj60 started by asking my age and if I ad sex and how old are the guys that I date. Oh my gush this is so disturbing, I m so scared. I placed him in my ignore list. One thing that really bothers me is that why does some people don’t have online etiquette? Why are guys so insensitive to know if there asking questions that there not suppose to ask. GIRLS do you agree with me? Lets make a pettition. If ths incident happened to you on the zone please feel free to post what happened and who have done it. Its really disturbing.
i just dont want it to happen again to any of the users. well ignore lists do help.
Girlie, just
put him on ignore, that way he can't mesage you any more
Girlie, just
put him on ignore, that way he can't mesage you any more
I am going to be very blunt...
that's pretty stupid casandra, yep
Oh my gosh. Thanks for mentioning tonyj60, and now I have a good reason to not reply to any of his emails or to add him to Skype. I don't know him and have never had any of what y'all are mentioning happen to me from anyone on here. But he does keep private messaging me, introducing himself, saying how he was interested in talking to me and giving me his Skype name, even though I both messaged and quicknoted him that I had added him and just didn't have the time to get on. The worst thing is that he sends basically the same messages to me after I had responded, but he hasn't made any advances toward me yet. SO now I guesss this should be a reason not to take a chance talking to him if y'all say he's like that. I don't normally avoid someone just on what others say, but if this is the case, I really wouldn't feel like putting up with crap like that.
Leilani
The easiest thing you can do is do a complete block on him, not just on here but on any of your Messenger systems like Aim, MSN etc and email (thats if you talk to this person outside the zone.) Second (and this is in my honest opinion) if you frequent the grafitti boards (I only went on there a few times.) I'd either stay vigulant or not go on that part of the site at all. Simply because grafitti doesn't have the ignore feature and you can post annoymusly. Seriously you don't know who's lurking using annymous on and those who perfer to let people know what they say by posting by username.
By the way, his messages to me are pretty harmless, just stating his hobbies, that he likes my profile, and that he would like to talk to me. But normally, people don't keep sending basically the same message. If they were really concerned about why a person wasn't responding, they would express that, if not, they'd just assume the person was busy or not interested. But this guy doesn't do that. So that's what makes it weird.
Leilani
By the way, his messages to me are pretty harmless, just stating his hobbies, that he likes my profile, and that he would like to talk to me. But normally, people don't keep sending basically the same message. If they were really concerned about why a person wasn't responding, they would express that, if not, they'd just assume the person was busy or not interested. But this guy doesn't do that. So that's what makes it weird.
Leilani
But there are indeed perverted people out there who want to hit on harmless people. And or try to be graphic. Depending on how you react to this type of stuff some might find it ok and some might find it harmless and some might find it disturbing. Like I said the ignore feature is your best buddy use it to your extent. And don't be afraid to use it.
Yeah, Leilani, he did that to me too. Then, I found out from ... four other friends of mine at once that he was harrassing them, and sure enough, he started harrassing me too. He is a creep. He doesn't even scare me, actually. It seems as though he doesn't have a life and is spamming every female on the Zone.
Hi ladies. I agree, this kind of thing is a bit of a turn-off, but on the other hand, I think this guy is probably pretty harmless (or so it seems to me from what has been said). He just doesn't have very good social skills, and feels that this is the way to get to know people, and perhaps even establish a relationship. So just blow him off, nicely if you can, not so nicely if you must, and put him on ignore. Problem solved. Save your worry for things that really are worth worrying about *smile*.
i dont put anyone on ignore, i simply just dont respond to their qn's or pm's. i wont mention any names, but yes, i can name at least three creeps on here. if you'd like to know, just pm me and i'll be glad to tell ya.
Oh man!!! I'm sorry but I totally agree with Casandra!!! Tonyj60 is such a jerk!! I had my mailbox flooded with his crap ever since he became a user on here!!! If someone tells you that they aren't interested, you should have the decency to just leave them alone!!! But no!!! He has to keep sending me mail asking me the same questions over and over again!!! It just shouldn't be put up with!!! I usually don't like to ignore people either but he just had to be ignored!!! One time, I put him off my ignore list, hoping that he would have learned that I wasn't interested, and the moment he logged in, he sent me a private e-mail with the same old crap!!! heheheeh I just clicked him back on to my ignore list!!! I hate guys like him!!! Thanks for posting this, Casandra!!! Huggs!!!
*sexy*
Tonyj60 asked me a lot of questions too. Stay away.
hey everyone i agree with you people he emails he wants 2 have sex with me im only 16 years old i should be the scared one hes really really really freaky Tonyj60 and he asked me a lot of personal questions he told me he was 25 but hes really like 41 he told me thanks for posting this Casandra now i going to tell him 2 leave me alone
Yeah, Tonyj60 sent me three emails. The first time i ignored him, second I was trying ... naive as I am ... to be at least a friend of his, and as he heard that I am not single, he ignored me. A few days later he emailed me again that his name is Tony and that he wants to get to know me. Ha ha ha.
But also other people like Ironfist666 or Bruceallmighty asked about my breast size and stuff. I mean I don#t mind people flirting with me as long as they don't go too far, but the above-mentioned ones ... they are really desturbing.
Oh and by the way: I don'T ignore him either but I just don't respond anymore ... he's too stupid. I also told him after his last message that he introduced himself to me three times already, hehehe *grins*.
Hey, tonige60 decided to do the same thing to me.
He asked me what I ware, and, what kind of brests I have.
I blocked him on skype, he sent me two quick notes, to talk to him.
The last one, he said that he was disapointed, and about friend ship, and stuff.
I blocked him off!
For all the girls that replied to these thanks. I just want everyone to be aware of whats currently happening. Hey Kevin(electricity) just because you’re a guy, your calling me stupid. Duh this messages are only for girls then why do you bother to reply? If you think I am stupid then fine, I’m just worried about every girl in here. Well just put tonyj60 in to your ignore list. Hope all the girls reads this.
some people just dont have social manners. hey Beautiful_Dorian, if its ok could you please give some other creeps you know? so we can put them in the ignore list. thanks again to all. take care and be careful.
I totally agree, True_oneseven.
Well firstly, one of the joys of the internet is, if you don’t want attention from someone, then you can just block the annoying party and effectively disappear out of his/her life for ever more. I can understand that for some users, especially younger users, unwanted advances can be disturbing, however that is where the ignore feature comes into its own and can be very useful. If these people were harassing people face to face then it would be that much more difficult, and more scary, to have to deal with, but just remember that the users you are bothered by are sitting behind a keyboard just like you and therefore can’t really do any harm. I personally did receive one communication from the user in question, asking if I would like to chat to him on a private chat server, but I just said I don’t do voice chatting and never heard from him again. Secondly, I really don’t think we should start campaigns to name users who other users brand as creeps and advise people to put them on ignore. After all, everyone has different tolerance levels, and what to one might come across as harmless flerting, might appear highly inappropriate and disturbing to another, and therefore, users might be branded for something which they said to a user quite innocently, and which that user might have taken the wrong way. I think it should be left to people to make up their own minds about other users.
and if it makes you that uncomfortable maybe ask a CL or admin to look into the matter as there's more then one person here who's been effective. But again I have this instinct feeling that a CL or admin will say to just ignore and if the person keeps harassing you like on grafitti then maybe action can be taken.
good point sugarbaby, i know its wrong to label one person as being creeps ans all that jerk names but this guy was sending this to most of the girls. but i agree with your point
Yeah I agree with all of you to a certain point ... we might havve to inform a CL or admin about that.
Ok let me put a scenario to those of you who think that a cl or admin should be told. If you were in a bar, and a guy came up and started harassing you, now I’m not talking physical harassment I just mean started chatting you up, maybe making some sexual references, making you a bit uncomfortable and giving you the distinct impression that he was a bit of a creep, what would you do. Would you tell him to get lost, ignore the advances and get on with your night, maybe even leave if he didn’t take no for an answer, or would you call over the manager and tell him that this guy was harassing you and could he please do something about it. On the front page of this site, before you log in, there is a statement which says, “Please note that we do not censor our members thoughts, and believe in freedom of speech. There are options to ignore mass instant messages if you wish
to utilize them, and we encourage you to make your own decisions as to what you view as acceptable content. We are not your parents.”. Now the reality is that this guy, and any like him, are, for the most part, harmless. And their advances are no more than annoying qn’s and private messages. Chances are that these type people send the same type messages to every girl they see online. Sure there are some guys who perhaps target one girl in particular but even then the same options apply. There are two ways to deal with creeps like this. You can either ignore their qn’s, not put them on ignore but just don’t bother responding or be very polite but not give any idea that you are in the least bit interested, if the guy doesn’t get the message you can tell him in no uncertain terms to get lost, but if he then doesn’t leave you alone you can just put him on ignore. It’s as simple as that. We can’t expect the admins/cl’s to go after a user because some of the female members don’t like the fact that he makes unwanted advances towards them. If you just put him on ignore he won’t be able to harass you, that’s as far as his advances go, he’s not going to get your address and come after you personally. As for users harassing others on the graffiti boards, well if it’s anonomous then whoever they are are cowards and don’t have the nerve to put their names to whatever they’re saying so are therefore worthless, but if you really are disturbed by what is on the graffiti boards then don’t read them. We are all adults on here, we can’t expect someone else to go after the people we don’t like all our lives, there are ignore features here for a reason. The CL’s/admins have already done their bit, now it’s up to every individual.
All you people who have a problem with been asked whether or not you like sex or whatever the fuck this user has asked you, tell me this! Have you ever been to a place where some of the people are drunk and a bit flertatious? have you seriously never been asked these questions before? I appreciate the fact that some of you are young and so may never have had these exxperiences, but sometimes these questions are asked. You don't have to answer on this site afterall, the person probably doesn't know your address so he's not exactly going to come round to find out these things for himself is he? But seriously get a grip! Sometimes these questionhs will be asked and when they are, you just have to be cautious, and vidulent and make sure you don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of. Why that wasn't so obvious to you I don't know. Maybe it's because your visually impaired but as I don't know, I won't assume.
Well Claire, ... I only now found out that you are right. But I would do the same thing as I do here: Not ignore him, but not responding him. And this, you can do in real life, too.
Well. I still have him on ignore and don't intend to take him off any time soon!!! And, no. Just because I am visionally impaired, I am not dumb, like you implied!!! Yes, Clare, I do understand your point on freedom of speech. However, enough is enough!!! I have been asked by this guy to give out all my contact info, and no matter how many times I've said no, he still doesn't get it!!! I think that Casandra's intent for this topic was to make other female zoners aware of how disturbing tonyj60 can be!!! Just a little heads up to those who may be vulnerable to his attacks. I do understand that what others may think of as vulgar may appear harmless to other people. But this is just like when going out to a party. I am sure all of us have got friends who have told us, "Don't even talk to that guy. He's a pervert who just wants sex from you!!!" And sometimes you listen to them, and sometimes you don't. But that's completely up to you!!! So, the way I see it, this is exactly how it is!!! Just harmless warnings to all!!! And if we are going to talk about freedom of speech, let me exercise my own freedom and say that people like tonyj60 shouldn't have to be put up with!!! Thank you all, and you have a great day!!!
*sexy*
thats what i did i placed him into the ignore list. usually i dont ignore people. so, his the first person i placed in that list.
any more opinion about this matter? i know everyone in here has there different opinions about this. i respect all your opinions. so, if you have anything to add feel free to do so. thanks.
Well he didn'T go this far with me. But if he did, well, then I agree MIchelle, then I would definitely ignore him.
Okay I'm a guy here but I must say. Thanks to guys like that (I don't know any of the people you speak of persoonally), but thanks to guys like that, it makes the rest of us guys look bad. Geez.
I agree, JH-Radio.
hey am not saying that all the guys are like that. everytime i talk to a guy i make sure to talk about appropriate stuff not inappropriate stuff but that time that tonyj60 was the one who started talking dirty. i dont like that. and by the way i dont consider all guys as a jerk. just to let you all know. just thsi one who keeps on repeating the dirty talk with lots of girls.
by the way yesterday there was an inappropriate conversation going on and theres this one guy who was asking all the girls if they SHAVE like i just think that this is really out of hand. guys ask whatever they feel like asking. do they ever think if its disrespectful or not. i know the freedom of speach but how free do you want it to be. so that he can ask you anything that you dont even want to answer. ignore list yeah done that i m getting to know all the kinds of guys that we have here. well there not all nasty. but i know now who are. if you want some info jsut pm me. i hate advertising names. i also hate fighting. but tonyj60 was really get out of hand And some other guys "PLEASE GET A LIFE"
Well, just to add another pespective. I think girls who do not want "unwanted" chat ups and flirting etc should not e.g. choose user names that indicate sexuality (no offense to you sexy guhrl but of course you'll be the first target of someone who logs in for the only purpose of being very sad and trying to get girls contact info) and don't leave suggestive profiles, I've seen a few on this site. Those who do that are subjecting themselves to being picked out for this inappropriateness. And if that's what they want, if they want the attention that's totally fine too. After all those may generate a lot of wanted attention but you have to take the good with the bad so to speak and deal with the unwanted attention too. I think this really is just part of the internet world, people flirt, people ask "inappropriate" questions both privately and publically and I think it's just part of life, you indciate whether you are confortable or not with those questions, if you are not then that should be respected, if it isn't put the person on ignore. Bottomline though is never ever give out contact info such as phone numbers or address to a person unless you trust him/her 100%, an obvious thing but you must always keep it in mind.
There is nothing a random user can do to you besides annoying you if you're simply a screen name, even giving out your msn/aim info is questionable, I know I don't, I'll give it to someone I've chatted with and want to chat with some more but by placing it in your profiles you're giving that to whomever is a member of this site.
So, use your ignore, be careful but remember, there are guys like that out there, this site is often very sexual in nature, most people find that just amusing, sometimes even educational and that's totally fine, but to those who are offended or threatened by it, use the ignore feature and be careful.
Cheers
-B
ok, well with reference to that conversation last night I was present. let me just say firstly that although I understand that there are some guys on here who do make inappropriate passes at girls, those guys are few and far between. as for questions that some ask in public qn's, while I agree that some of the public conversations do get very sexual sometimes, some of the guys who ask these questions do so purely to get a reaction! That does not make them jerks, and I would also like to add that there were girls present and who were willing participants in the discussion. if you don't like the conversation at the time then you are free to turn off public qn's, but at least it's a slightly more interesting topic than having a virtual food fight, or what is the latest version of msn messenger and how many messenger programmes do you have ...
B's right to a degree, some definitely bring it on themselves, I'm not sure I necessarily agree re the user names, but definitely on profiles. let's draw a comparison here ... let's say I decided to go out to a club, I dress up in a short, black dress with no straps and which leaves virtually nothing to the imagination, and out I go with my friends. In reality, I couldn't complain if guys gave me attention, because by wearing that outfit, I would bring the attention on myself. After all, why would I dress up in a sexy outfit if not to be noticed? it's the same with putting suggestive info in a profile, but on a different level.
hehehehe Wildebrew!! You should know me better than to assume that I have problems with guys asking me flurtatious questions!!! heheheeh But the problem with tonyj60 is that he has continuously sent me private mail and flooding my mailbox with simple nothings!!! I've told him time and time again that I don't give out my contact info but it was all in vain!!! That is very annoying!!! Therefore, I have hit the ignore button on him and that's that!!! As you all know, I have been a great instigator of what has been talked about for the last few days. I am sure we all meant no harm and it was all in great fun!!!
*sexy*
sexy, hehe certainly not, I am sure you chose your user name and enjoy the attention it brings and I for one have no complaints about your user name, hehe it's quie .. well the sexiest name on here hehe by definition <grin>. I'm just saying one must take the good with the bad or vice versa and, yes, that type of attention is very annoying and quite sad.
Well, okay, that public thingy doesn't mean anything to me. There are worse thinggs.
okay anymore guys who would like to add in thier opinions?
okey lets listen to what the guys have to say.
Hey Sexy, hot name. LOL True what WildBrew or whatever he is called (sorry man) said. Flirting doesn't bother me. I'll do it, to a point. But if someone is fludding a mailbox, or a female wishes not to have it done then I respect that. Also I don't just start doing that the first time I talk to a girl.... That's just, well... Weird. Then again,I am not one to go to a nudy bar to feel some strange chick that I don't know. I also don't have guy friends that get off on talking about what sexual incounters they had with whatever woman, either. I don't like guys that think with there dicks only... Nah, its not me.
And that's totally okay. Flirting is totally okay to a certain point.
well i dont label all the guys that way just one. really a bad one.
here's a new aproach. all those who are easily offended should block me!
job done!
Well now, generically speaking, I guess that means all of us "males" are that way?
come on, girls. grow up. The zone does not promis none of this will happen. If you can't handle it then just ignore him. and I don't mean put him on your ignore list, I mean don't pay attention to him. I mean, for real, get over it.
okay. thanks for everyone that replied.
Ignore him. lolol
Ignoring is not always a solution. As long as he is not too personal as in my case, just only hit the ignore button inside yourself, just don'T respond, lol.
hahahah Ines. I was just joking!! hehehehehehe But in all seriousness though, I rest my case. I just know that I don't appreciate my inbox being flooded. And that is why I clicked the ignore button on him. Mind you, it's only private mail that I am ignoring him on.
*sexy*
Yeah, I understand what you mean.
tonidge 60 has done the same with me sending me emails and private message also watch out for wolfmen because he asked me if i would fuck him i said that i was 18 and you are 27 he said that doesn't mater he only talked to me for one night and hasn't talked to me since but even so just watch out for him
Thanks for the warning, Carlie.
LOL Hezzy! Good and short and sweet and to the point... No?
cos most guys seem to have a one-track mind. apparently they're meant to think of "sex" every seven minutes on average or something; go figure!
minutes or seconds?
seconds, and ... wolfman ... I have made his aquaintence ... although he never was that blunt with me but I have the perfect get out for unwanted guys - I have a two year old son! believe me, the shallow ones run back to where they came from quicker than they got there when I impart that little snippet of info, *grins*
I always find those type of guys quite etnertaining (the ones who just ask right out if the girl wants to sleep with him or just grab them at a bar and expect that to work).
Now I am not an expert at picking up girls, I don't want to be in any case. But I do know that asking her if she wants to have sex with me or grab her boob the first time I meet her is very unlikely to result in anything, what about dinner/movie/flowers/getting to know the girl etc .. I got the feeling such an approach might just work a lot better if you really wanted to get a girl or be with her, how this works for guys is hard to say <grin>
well, I think that the fact these guys are invariably single holds the answer to how successful these chat up lines are, *grins*, you're right though, "fancy dinner" is far more likely to get a response, at least another meeting than "fancy a shag". *grins*.
is that where i've been going wrong all these years? damn! *grin*
ah yes but dan asking a girl to dinner means you either have to cook, or take her out and pay, *grins*
hey i don't mind taking a girl out to dinner and paying for it! however me cooking definitely wouldn't be the ideal way to start an evening of hot steamy sex, in fact it's far more likely to leed to a hot steamy session on the toilet with a sick bucket close at hand!
hmmmm you're not exactly appealing to the girls now are ya *grins*
so what now? okay i wanted to stop giving names because i know its not good but the other day wolfeman told me to be careful of someone because he was asking all the ladies if they shave thier. his really weird. i know his saying things dierctly from what he thinks but its jsut so disgusting. by the way i hate putting peoplt in ignore list. but for some reasons i m puting some down. peace to all that reads this.
the bottom line true_one7 is if you really don't like or want this kind of attention then the ignore feature is your best option! people on this site, me included, like asking these sorts of questions, not for the answers, which are purely insidental, but for the reactions! i admit it! i enjoy taking people out of there comfort zones! but as i say, if that's something you can't handle then you just need to use the ignore feature! that's what its there for!
I think there's a distinct difference here though. yes dan you ask those kinds of questions but invariably you do it publically, and I think people find that less disconcerting than someone who does it privately.
hehehehe. actually i do both claire!
Like Dan, I do this for 2 reasons, one is for reaction, and second to ileviate boredome. I don't mind if the girls/women of the zone want to ask me similarly awkward questions, I can then either answer, or simply choose not to.
okay thanks for all your comments. the ignore button will surely be used. peace to all.
Just wanted to write and sya that I mean, it may be viewed as pointless for us girls to be complaining on here but we have every right to, just as you all have the right to complain to us for complaining. And also I read what Wonderful Wangel said, and it's not so much that the dude asked me the same questions over and over, it's just that he made me feel uncomfortable, and so I ignore him. I shouldnt' be feeling uncomfortable. And lol to Dan AKA Harp, some people think I'm easily offended, but I never blocked you. Know why? Cuz you're nice and you never make me feel uncomfortable. And don't worry, to all you guys out there. These losers haven't given you a bad name. I've made lots of guy friends no here.
Well, if you only do this for reaction ... okay then. If it doesn'T get too creepy.
Lol harp, as usual you crack me up! and as for your original question to me, maybe it is seconds Lol! hahaha rock on buddy! :)
Lol, some questio nare funny to me if they are not too personal.
well, I think anyone who reads the sex addicts boards are pretty much not offended by anything, *grins*
Hi true_17,
I had one of the guys ask me an embarrassing question. Certainly not the kin you were asked, else he would've really got a huge piece of my mind just before I'd put him on ignore. I won't repeat the question, but anyway, I told him I didn't appreciate that kind of talk, and he wasn't talking to one of the younger ones, I was 46 years old, and very old fashioned. He didn't say anything else that night, so I said to myself, well, that takes care of that. I had all but forgotten about him, then the next night, he quick noted me, and apologized, for which I appreciated. Most guys don't apologize for anything, and I think in time, I'm sorry, or I apologize will just be removed from language altogether. Anyway, he told me was really a nice person, even though I might not think so, he just got carried away. I said he probably wasn't talking to someone who is as old as I am, not that I'm that old, but from a younger perspective, especially from most people here on the zone, I seem old in their eyes, he's 27. Anyway, as Charisma so nicely and gently put it, I'm harmless. My mom is 70, and my grandmother lived to be 80, and my great grandmother lived to be 103 years old. Anyway, he and I had several conversations after that, and he never said anything like that to me again. So, I would suggest, unless it is really bad, just tell the guy you don't appreciate that kind of talk. If he doesn't do it again that's well and good, but of course, if it's really bad and offensive, best thing to do is put him on ignore.
wonderwomand
made a slight typo, what I meant to say was he probably wasn't use to talking to someone as old as I am.
wonderwoman
nO i WAS NOT OFFENDED BY ANYTHING YET BUT THERE ARE LIMITS; EVEN FOR ME; HEHEHE:
<grins at harp> lol I guess it's all just based on how you choose to dela with the comments. Maybe if you reply in kind, it'll give him an even greater shock ^_^
if you dont like it, just dont respond...simple as that. get over it, cuz he's harmless.
I agree to both of you.
This is just a curious question:
If something like thiswere t ever happen to any of us girls, shouldn't we tell the cl's about this before we tell anyone else? I'd rather get something done about that stuff.
yup, had the same tonyj60 insident, lol and what's weird is he used the exact same words as he did to mel as we found out later.
yeah he hit on me too. but why revive this its old.